I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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