what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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