Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
