why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize