You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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