I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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