I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
