just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
love makes seman taste better
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize