i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
So here I am, sexting at work.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
