she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
