We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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