Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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