that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
