Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
