If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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