It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize