By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
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while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
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The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.