I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?