i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
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Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.