This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.