toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
