end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
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Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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