Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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