how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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