I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Randomize
