that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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