I'm really into asian looking animals
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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