Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
