Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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