There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
