how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
