I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
