We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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