I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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