week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
