xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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