i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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