Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
