You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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