im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize