Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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