Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
