once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
