Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
She has the best kind of daddy issues
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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