i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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