If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
