Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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