Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
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I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.