Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
