Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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