I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize