Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
