that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
