It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
