yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize