Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize