the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
