those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
