please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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