If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
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