he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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